The Saga of teh_Bast4rd_LeRoi: LymeJournal Post 04 Sep 2005 22:26:36

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Profile1a 500xI don’t know how long I will be here. I’ve been here for a while, but I can never tell these things. I just figured that while I was in one place, I should set the record straight. Leave something behind for those who will come after.

I have no idea how long I have been ‘inside’, but it seems like years. How can you tell passing of time when the sun never rises or sets, when the winds do not blow, and no stars shine. Here it is the blackest dark, or the brightest bright, or some pulsing, shimmering, humming thing in between. I have heard some of the people here, if you can call them people, refer to things as ‘cycles’–whatever that means. As long as I have been here, it makes no sense to me.

Feh, I used to have a life. I used to be normal. I was just a guy–a regular dude playing video games, trying to “save the world”. Maybe I was brash, and I got a little famous for being reckless; but people knew my handle–teh_Bast4rd_LeRoi. Whether I was on the Worlds of StarCraft or the Marauders of Gaia, I was a known dude. It felt great, but I never thought of myself as a hero. It was all just a game, after all.

Well, one day not long after the Spar7ann event, I was online on MoG, and I spotted this troll just picking on some noobs. Now, everybody gives noobs a little bit of grief, but this guy (his handle was LOLTroll) was just being a real dick to these guys. I mean just starting fights and crap. His HP was unbelievable and he was just picking on them. So I walked over to him told the guy told the guy he was being a douchebag and to back off. I told him, “Hey, we all got to start somewhere.”

His avatar looked at mine, and somehow straight into my own eyes. “You picked the wrong guy to screw with, chump,” he said. In the next minute the whole world erupted into white flame—a fire cold and hot and electric. Then it was black.

I awoke on the floor, and then gingerly stood to my feet. The ground seemed further away then I remembered it; and when I looked at my hands, they were not my thin, engineer’s hands, but the meaty clubs of a warrior. Somehow–by some magic, I suppose—I was trapped inside the game, and inside my avatar, the hulking LeRoi.

I had little time for shock, as I spent the next three ‘days’ with the noobs fighting our way our of a wraith filled forest. At the edge of the woods, we spotted a village with an inn on the edge, but before we could reach the door, I was taken by another white flash.

After this second bolt I found myself in something like a Roman forum, standing on the floor and surrounded by rising rows of faces, motionless, except for their roving and darting eyes. These faces were looking out over the forum and racing to type across the air, and I realized I was looking up to a message board. I tried to attract the attention of the posters, to find answers; but not one understood that I was not just another user trolling them. I did not have much time to get flustered before the white flash took me away.

And that is how it has been for who-knows-how-long. I am stuck here in a place that some call the Netwerx—the convergences of the world’s computer and telecom systems. It like Tron or the Matrix– where users interface with each-other and ‘bots and AI’s. And most have no idea was is going on beneath the service. I wander when I can, ‘jump’ when pulled along, and try to get out. God, I hope I can just find a way home.

 

(‘Marauders of Gaia’ created by Sortelli, http://www.elfonlyinn.net. Used with permission.)

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Mathew D. Rhys

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